Can’t Touch This

I love song parodies…and stumbled across this one in my files.  I absolutely fry at the beach…and this was written from my experience as a burner.  Sing this to MC Hammer’s 1990 hit…Can’t Touch This!

Can’t Touch This
by Ima Burner

I can’t touch this
I can’t touch this
I can’t touch this
I can’t touch this
I can’t touch this

My, my, my skin tone is so fair, I got a sunburn in my hair.

It’s red and hurts like a bitch!
Then it will peel and start to itch.
Feels good, if I lie in the sack with some super big ice packs on my back.
But, now, I can’t do much,
Cause this is a burn, I can’t touch!

I’m frying girlfriend (I can’t touch this)
Yeah, that’s why I’m sizzling and you know (I can’t touch this)
Look at my eyes, babe (I can’t touch this)
Yo, let me find some shade. (I can’t touch this)

You go and have your fun.  I’ll go outside when there’s no sun.
At night, when the stars all shine,
is when I’ll go out for my beach time!

Til then, I’ll just sit here, covered in a muumuu drinking a beer.

It sucks, I can’t do much,
Cause this is a burn, I can’t touch!
sunburn_woman
Break it down!  Stop, Freckle Time!
I can’t touch this
I can’t touch this
I can’t touch this
I can’t touch this

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